I give dou 5.000 euro, you marry me, me Romanian citizen. Get it? Dou need not cook, wash, dust. Dou sleep not with me in bred. I sex alone. Dou need not sex with me. Dou papers wife. That's all. I not drink alcohol, I not smoke. Look, muscles, me healthy. No, no, no need. I wash dishes in evening and clean with the mop. I put alone laundry in the washing machine. Dou only signature city hall. Deal?
Look how we're going to do: I give you 5.000 euro, you forget about the divorce and we sleep in the same bed.
(Translated by Paula-Silvia Codescu / University of Bucharest, Faculty of Foreign Languages and Literatures, MTTLC, year I / Corrected by Silvia Petrescu, coordinator of the translations)
Real Fiction is a collective project started in 2013 by Florin Piersic Jr. The concept of Real Fiction continued to exist as a Facebook group, after a volume of stories was published at Humanitas Publishing House. (In March 2021, the group has 4.500 members.) The authors write ultra-short stories, with the texts limited to 500 characters (in Romanian, so the length of the English translation might be a little different) - a flash-fiction exercise on a topic that changes almost daily. The group's coordinators are Florin Piersic Jr., Gabriel Molnar, and Luchian Abel. (Drawing by Adrian T. Roman)
Versiunea în română a acestui text se poate citi aici, în rubrica Ficţiuni Reale.