Ikea doesn't exist. The table[i] is a scalar physical measure, it can't be sold. The bed is an impossibility of winning a chess match. The stool is a thing that, if damaged, you need a Pharmacy, not Ikea. The furniture[ii] is a moving woman. The vessel[iii] are ships, you can find them on water or on building sites. The dishes[iv] are a happy woman. Sanitary objects are an insult to healthcare professionals. Inner decorations is what I would have had if I had swollen my grandfather's medals. Ikea doesn't exist. End of story.
[i] Untranslatable wordplay. In Romanian, "masă" means both "table" and "mass".
[ii] Untranslatable wordplay. In Romanian, "mobilă" means both "furniture" and "moving".
[iii] Untranslatable wordplay. In Romanian, "vas" means both "ship" and "vessel".
[iv] Untranslatable wordplay. In Romanian, "veselă" means both "dishes" and "joyful".
(Translated by Ema-Teodora Rădulescu / University of Bucharest, Faculty of Foreign Languages and Literatures, MTTLC, year I / Corrected by Silvia Petrescu, coordinator of the translations)
Real Fiction is a collective project started in 2013 by Florin Piersic Jr. The concept of Real Fiction continued to exist as a Facebook group, after a volume of stories was published at Humanitas Publishing House. (In August 2022, the group has 9,000 members.) The authors write ultra-short stories, with the texts limited to 500 characters (in Romanian, so the length of the English translation might be a little different) - a flash-fiction exercise on a topic that changes almost daily. The group's coordinators are Florin Piersic Jr., Gabriel Molnar, Răzvan Penescu, and Luchian Abel. (Drawing by Adrian T. Roman)
Versiunea în română a acestui text se poate citi aici, în rubrica Ficțiuni Reale.