You're a jackass. What do you mean, master? I mean as I tell you. A specimen of the male bovine, castrated, unfortunately. What does castrate mean? It means you don't have balls anymore, jackass. And what were I using them for? To be a bull, you fool. A bool? I haven't heard of this before. That is, instead of just peeing through that little teat, you would have passed your genetic heritage to and through other cows. And you would have butted heads with other bulls for supremacy. Me? Yes, you, Ferdinand. I like to smell flowers. For real, cows? Of the fat ones? Who are mooing? Not me.

(Translated by Ioana Negrea / University of Bucharest, Faculty of Foreign Languages and Literatures, MTTLC, year II / Corrected by Silvia Petrescu, coordinator of the translations)

Real Fiction is a collective project started in 2013 by Florin Piersic Jr. The concept of Real Fiction continued to exist as a Facebook group, after a volume of stories was published at Humanitas Publishing House. (In September 2022, the group has 9,250 members.) The authors write ultra-short stories, with the texts limited to 500 characters (in Romanian, so the length of the English translation might be a little different) - a flash-fiction exercise on a topic that changes almost daily. The group's coordinators are Florin Piersic Jr., Gabriel Molnar, Răzvan Penescu, and Luchian Abel. (Drawing by Adrian T. Roman)

Versiunea în română a acestui text se poate citi aici, în rubrica Ficțiuni Reale.

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