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When I Grow Up

, translated by

13.02.2023
I promise to get leathery skin. No, actually, I'll get thick skin. When they bite my ass, let their tooth enamel fall off. I'm going to dig the ground until I get a broad, fat-free, lean, tender back of the neck. No, the rind should be stiff, so that they choke on me. I'm going to go on a diet, paleo, keto or intermittent fasting to keep them from attacking my body. No. I want to be a boar. To have offspring galore. Yeah, but I don't have my jewels anymore. So, I want to be a wild boar. No, I'm going to be a butcher. No, a nerd. I'm going to make myself a pair of wings.

(Translated by Oana Ionescu / University of Bucharest, Faculty of Foreign Languages and Literatures, MTTLC, year I / Corrected by conf. dr. Daria Protopopescu / Edited by Silvia Petrescu, coordinator of the translations)


Real Fiction is a collective project started in 2013 by Florin Piersic Jr. The concept of Real Fiction continued to exist as a Facebook group, after a volume of stories was published at Humanitas Publishing House. (In October 2022, the group has 9,400 members.) The authors write ultra-short stories, with the texts limited to 500 characters (in Romanian, so the length of the English translation might be a little different) - a flash-fiction exercise on a topic that changes every few days. The group's coordinators are Florin Piersic Jr., Gabriel Molnar, Răzvan Penescu, and Luchian Abel. (Drawing by Adrian T. Roman)

Versiunea în română a acestui text se poate citi aici, în rubrica Ficțiuni Reale.

Arhiva rubricii

This Fall, George Dometi, Monica Bologa, Florina Hegedüs, translated by Laurențiu-Gabriel NiculaeThis Fall, Sorin Rizeanu, Ruxandra Comșa, Carmen-Ecaterina Ciobâcă, translated by Laurențiu-Gabriel NiculaeThis Fall, Andra Toropoc, Andreea Mihaela Murariu Moldovanu, Vlad Nastea, translated by Laurențiu-Gabriel NiculaeThis Fall, Cami Neagu, Dan Banu, Tavi Tone, translated by Irina VildThis Fall, Arthur Ianoși, Cristina Daniela Dumitru-Pascal, Horațiu Dudău, translated by Irina VildToate articolele din această rubrică

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Arhiva rubricii

This Fall, George Dometi, Monica Bologa, Florina Hegedüs, translated by Laurențiu-Gabriel NiculaeThis Fall, Sorin Rizeanu, Ruxandra Comșa, Carmen-Ecaterina Ciobâcă, translated by Laurențiu-Gabriel NiculaeThis Fall, Andra Toropoc, Andreea Mihaela Murariu Moldovanu, Vlad Nastea, translated by Laurențiu-Gabriel NiculaeThis Fall, Cami Neagu, Dan Banu, Tavi Tone, translated by Irina VildThis Fall, Arthur Ianoși, Cristina Daniela Dumitru-Pascal, Horațiu Dudău, translated by Irina VildToate articolele din această rubrică

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Ficțiuni RealeReal FictionCu voce tareMiniaturi cu carne

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