Look here, guys, when I was drafted, there was a blonde female doctor on the board, breasts as big as pumpkins. She came into the locker room. Take your clothes off and enter one by one. Behave yourselves, look what I've got here. Do you know what this is? A ruler, answered some. When it was my turn, I entered with my tights on. My Johnson was too big and I kept it tied with a garter, because it tickled my knees. Come closer, you peasant. Take it off. Get rid of that band. I did and immediately I overturned the ink pot on the table. That's when I started to hate rulers.

(Translated by Jessica-Polixenia-Cristiana Copilaș / University of Bucharest, Faculty of Foreign Languages and Literatures, MTTLC, year II / Corrected by prof. dr. Nadina Vișan / Edited by Silvia Petrescu, coordinator of the translations)

Real Fiction is a collective project started in 2013 by Florin Piersic Jr. The concept of Real Fiction continued to exist as a Facebook group, after a volume of stories was published at Humanitas Publishing House. (In December 2022, the group has 9,880 members.) The authors write ultra-short stories, with the texts limited to 500 characters (in Romanian, so the length of the English translation might be a little different) - a flash-fiction exercise on a topic that changes every few days. The group's coordinators are Florin Piersic Jr., Gabriel Molnar, Răzvan Penescu, and Luchian Abel. (Drawing by Adrian T. Roman)

Versiunea în română a acestui text se poate citi aici, în rubrica Ficțiuni Reale.

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