I told you to lock that drafty door. Now I've got a swollen lump in my ear. Get Anica to rub it with ointment. I'll do it, I'll use some herbs in my liniment too. But Anica's ointment does wonders, woman. Wonders, my ass. It does wonders for men, for I got only massage cupping and not much else. She keeps swinging her tits at you, the braless tart. Her boss at the store sent her to buy herself a bunch of king-sized caps to make herself a bra. You're all sniffing at her just because our doc won't do his job and in the meantime Anica's flaunting her tits in front of the village's bald men. So, you'll get my horse liniment and like it.

(Translated by Cristina-Nicoleta Costache (Mircea) / University of Bucharest, Faculty of Foreign Languages and Literatures, MTTLC, year I / Corrected by prof. dr. Nadina Vișan / Edited by Silvia Petrescu, coordinator of the translations)

Real Fiction is a collective project started in 2013 by Florin Piersic Jr. The concept of Real Fiction continued to exist as a Facebook group, after a volume of stories was published at Humanitas Publishing House. (In December 2022, the group has 9,880 members.) The authors write ultra-short stories, with the texts limited to 500 characters (in Romanian, so the length of the English translation might be a little different) - a flash-fiction exercise on a topic that changes every few days. The group's coordinators are Florin Piersic Jr., Gabriel Molnar, Răzvan Penescu, and Luchian Abel. (Drawing by Adrian T. Roman)

Versiunea în română a acestui text se poate citi aici, în rubrica Ficțiuni Reale.

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