Didn't ya put some pickled cabbage in the basement? Gimme some to chase the booze. Joița, I'm fuckin dyin', my mouth's on fire. Never seen a dead devil, look how well that woke ya up. The fuck did ya put in there, poison? Nah, this year I made kimchi. Ain't it good? Korean vitamin, nice and wholesome. What? Did ya get the recipe from Kim Jong-un or what? Yeah right, ain't it come out good? It's Chinese lettuce with chili, sesame, ginger and some other shit. Woman, I want Romanian cabbage from Lungulețu, so ya can make me sarmale for Christmas. This year I'm makin kimchi and bulgogi. The fuck's the bulldog for?

(Translated by Bianca-Maria Ciucașu / University of Bucharest, Faculty of Foreign Languages and Literatures, MTTLC, year II / Corrected by prof. dr. Nadina Vișan / Edited by Silvia Petrescu, coordinator of the translations)

Real Fiction is a collective project started in 2013 by Florin Piersic Jr. The concept of Real Fiction continued to exist as a Facebook group, after a volume of stories was published at Humanitas Publishing House. (In January 2023, the group has 10,220 members.) The authors write ultra-short stories, with the texts limited to 500 characters (in Romanian, so the length of the English translation might be a little different) - a flash-fiction exercise on a topic that changes every few days. The group's coordinators are Florin Piersic Jr., Gabriel Molnar, Răzvan Penescu, and Luchian Abel. (Drawing by Adrian T. Roman)

Versiunea în română a acestui text se poate citi aici, în rubrica Ficțiuni Reale.

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