What kind, Pepe? French, madam. You're not a handicraftsman, it looks English. With my key, I can adjust, avail, avenge, and fix. Did you know it was invented by some manly Swede? We know too well, how the Swedes are all some dopey, and your grandmothers were partying it up on Costa Brava. I want you now, with that special key. That's the hammer, madam. Don't get too excited. Tools changed over time. Sexy, sweaty, hairy chest, dirty overalls. I want them now. Don't trouble yourself, madam. Tomorrow is the wife's washing-up day.

(Translated by Constantin Istrate / University of Bucharest, Faculty of Foreign Languages and Literatures, MTTLC, year II / Corrected by prof. Daria Protopopescu / Edited by Silvia Petrescu, coordinator of the translations)

Real Fiction is a collective project started in 2013 by Florin Piersic Jr. The concept of Real Fiction continued to exist as a Facebook group, after a volume of stories was published at Humanitas Publishing House. (In January 2023, the group has 10,220 members.) The authors write ultra-short stories, with the texts limited to 500 characters (in Romanian, so the length of the English translation might be a little different) - a flash-fiction exercise on a topic that changes every few days. The group's coordinators are Florin Piersic Jr., Gabriel Molnar, Răzvan Penescu, and Luchian Abel. (Drawing by Adrian T. Roman)

Versiunea în română a acestui text se poate citi aici, în rubrica Ficțiuni Reale.

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