I Brought You into This World and I Can Also Take You Out

Monica Stoian
By the time you read this, I won't be. I've taken away your joy of sorting things out, I've figured it out myself. They'll call you in for recon, I have no doubt you won't handle it. You made me. Didn't I surprise you? The fool beat you to it. I was no good anyway. You were always right; the dogs will stretch me across the road, pick me up and make a fool of me. If it wasn't for me, you'd have a life. Justice has been done. I confess an end, to the forgiveness of sins.

Ruxandra Coman
I had waited a long time for the day when the Genius Idea came. I was nervous, I didn't know if I'd recognize it. It sat down next to me, placed the pen in my hand and the words started dancing. I knew it, because everything was so natural, like we had known each other forever. We rolled around and I felt like my whole being was a Genius Idea. I told it I needed a break. When I turned around, it was gone. Everything I'd written seemed bland and meaningless. I've been sitting here waiting for it to come back ever since.

Lucian Domșa
Well, cried the Archbishop, banging his fist on the table. You've been playing the Holy Church's money at cards? Father Agheasmie lowered his gaze humbly. I got the special twice in a row, Holy Father. I put back the money I took with interest. I excommunicate you, roared His Holiness. A TV reporter saw you on camera and filmed you. Now I have to make a press statement. How shall I get us out of hot water? The Pope looked up. Say it wasn't me. If you kick me out, who'll pay the lease on Mercedes?

(Translated by Victor Albei / University of Bucharest, Faculty of Foreign Languages and Literatures, MTTLC, year I / Corrected by Silvia Petrescu, coordinator of the translations)


Real Fiction is a collective project started in 2013 by Florin Piersic Jr. The concept of Real Fiction continued to exist as a Facebook group, after a volume of stories was published at Humanitas Publishing House. (In July 2023, the group has 11,540 members.) The authors write ultra-short stories, with the texts limited to 500 characters (in Romanian, so the length of the English translation might be a little different) - a flash-fiction exercise on a topic that changes every few days. The group's coordinators are Florin Piersic Jr., Gabriel Molnar, Răzvan Penescu, Luchian Abel, and Vlad Mușat. (Drawing by Adrian T. Roman)

Versiunea în română a acestui text se poate citi aici, în rubrica Ficțiuni Reale.