Amorena Minculescu
Take out a sheet of paper, today you'll be taking a test on the tetrevangelium. Ah, I remind you: paper is that thing, constellation snow that you only need once a year, when you send your smart tax to the Centre. You are not allowed to use live scribe, pulse smarten, chatpen, etc. Only use your fingers, rotring 500, recovered from the museum and which were called pencils. Do not talk, do not activate the Bluetooth microchips. Only follow the quantum principles and AI Watson. It's time to take the Gospel Musk school seriously.
Dan Banu
And Elon gave people the Good News. And they lifted their heads and were blinded by the glare in the sky. And I saw another angel flying through the centre of the skying the Starlink network to announce it to the inhabitants of Earth, to every nation, to every tribe, to every language, and to every people. And Elon said: Heavenly Father has commended and blessed us to be fruitful, to multiply, and to subdue the earth and He named his ninth child X AE A-12. Then another Tesla caught fire and the shares went down.
Siranuș Hakobian
He was old-school: he had no bank card and used no data. If only he had bought a laptop. No way: he would write old-fashioned letters on real paper with Pelikan ink. Dear Elon, please move the satellites a tad, they're interfering with my Big Dipper; I can't leave the house because I don't recognize the world anymore and I'm afraid I'll get lost. As you can see, the Big Dipper is all I have left. After a while he received a reply in the mailbox, printed flawlessly on a white sheet of paper: round and cheerful, a face that was cry laughing.
(Translated by Raluca Ioana Crucerescu / University of Bucharest, Faculty of Foreign Languages and Literatures, MTTLC, year II / Corrected by Silvia Petrescu, coordinator of the translations)
Versiunea în română a acestui text se poate citi aici, în rubrica Ficțiuni Reale.