I Can't Imagine

Paul Dârvariu
Yes girl, I'm getting married. We met on the tram. He gave me his seat, he introduced himself and in the blink of an eye, he invited me to a restaurant. He's really quick: on the third date he put the ring on my finger. Is he young? Nah, you know I don't like weenies. He's closer to 50. He's not that handsome either: bald, a little belly, glasses. He's very knowledgeable, however. Of course, he's a librarian, girl. If you could hear how passionately he talks to me about Heidegger and all the others. I'm lucky he's not rich: you'd have said I'm marrying for money. I can't stand to be the subject of gossip.

Ruxandra Coman
Where's mommy? She got lost like a toy that fell off the bed, or maybe she went bad like a dish forgotten on the stove in the summer. Mommy is lost, like that stuffed toy that fell out of the stroller. She's here, they shouted, but it was just a body in the shape of Mommy. She was in her happy place. Then they pulled out the pyre as they shouted give me, do it, put it, kiss me, change it, wipe it. And she said, I'm just a person, please. Come back, the house is unravelling without you. Mommy opens her eyes. Do you want pancakes? And the house knitted itself a sun.

Caterina Tudorache
A camel was smoking peacefully on the terrace. The sloth hurried over. Mister boss man, the dormouse at table 5 is raising a ruckus, saying he wants to talk to the manager. He claims that there's a fly in his soup. He's angry and says he's gonna file a complaint. The camel lets out a big yawn and straightens out, turning to table 5. The dormouse was howling. It's unacceptable that I have a fly in my soup. Good evening. So, what's the deal with this fly? The dormouse had to pull his head back to get a good look at the entire camel. He swallowed nervously. It's unacceptable that I have a fly in my soup. Please bring me two more.

(Translated by Bianca Ioana Prisecaru / University of Bucharest, Faculty of Foreign Languages and Literatures, MTTLC, year II / Corrected by Silvia Petrescu, coordinator of the translations)


Real Fiction is a collective project started in 2013 by Florin Piersic Jr. The concept of Real Fiction continued to exist as a Facebook group, after a volume of stories was published at Humanitas Publishing House. (In August 2023, the group has 11,680 members.) The authors write ultra-short stories, with the texts limited to 500 characters (in Romanian, so the length of the English translation might be a little different) - a flash-fiction exercise on a topic that changes every few days. The group's coordinators are Florin Piersic Jr., Gabriel Molnar, Răzvan Penescu, Luchian Abel, and Vlad Mușat. (Drawing by Adrian T. Roman)

Versiunea în română a acestui text se poate citi aici, în rubrica Ficțiuni Reale.