I know, big surprise. For my entire life I've taken the shape of the vessel in which you put me, and always conducted myself according to the communicating principles, and I dutifully dissolved in myself all the crap you served me. What a shock it is now to see me sometimes icy, sometimes hot, sometimes, puff, evaporated from your confined vessels. I am half troubled, half personality, an explosive combination. Or, have you forgotten that H makes bombs and O keeps the fire going? I'm suffocating, you say? Without me, you're well aware of it, you would die of thirst.
Tavi Țone
The girl was lying still in the middle of the railway. The train driver slammed on the brakes as hard as he could and jumped from the locomotive trying to save her, but he died as well, pressed to a railway signal, the iron between his arms. The cowherd then ran towards the scene of the tragedy, but he lost his footing and hit his head on a stone. I was peacefully bathing in the pond from where I got to see this whole series of unfortunate events. Why didn't I intervene? Well, I don't even know the cowherd's name, and I've heard there are vipers near the railway.
Ionuț Tuhoarcă
Oh my. There's an itsy-bitsy rat in my wee bathroom. Oh my. He sits in a corner and squeaks. Squeak. Squeak. Oh my. Now I won't be able to go for a poo-poo. For a pee-pee. Adios, my beloved shower. Adios, beloved bubble baths. After watching him to see what he was doing, I overcame my shameful impulses and walked up to him with a piece of cheese on a stick. He took a bite, of course just to try it out. And at once that shameless little shit shrieks and I suddenly find myself amidst a mischief of rats. Get a load of them now! Six-packs of beer, pizza boxes, jacuzzi, karaoke.
(Translated by Andreea Teodorescu-Colciu / University of Bucharest, Faculty of Foreign Languages and Literatures, MTTLC, year II / Corrected by Silvia Petrescu, coordinator of the translations)
Versiunea în română a acestui text se poate citi aici, în rubrica Ficțiuni Reale.