Down the Fire Escape

Alina Voinea
You're extremely beautiful, he flattered her. Thank you, she said without looking at him, then tried, meekly, to tiptoe past him without touching him. You don't want to talk to me, he growled, and she only now looked at him, harshly. Sir, I don't know what your impression is and who you think you're talking to, but I live on the third floor with Mrs. Mimi and I'm not in the mood for anything you were going to propose. Another neutered one, he thought, and licked his whiskers, frowning. My apologies.

Vlad Mușat
We were lying down, both of us puffing from a cigarette. I've noticed your knee hurts bad during sex, but it's ok, then you become a stud. Yeah, I do. You're the fourth woman 20 years older I've slept with. I've had the same experience with all of them. What do you mean? I was 12 when I broke my leg. I was in love with Mrs. Marieta, a neighbour. And? And she lived at 5, and I used to climb up every night to watch her shower. She was the first woman I have ever seen naked. One night she saw me in the mirror. I lost my balance and fell.

Miruna Marin
Ticu, how much longer? Shut up and screw. I'm tired and a little dizzy, what if we fall? What'd you think this was, easy? You got to have balls. Besides, you're already dead. What else could happen to you? Go ahead. What if they catch us stealing the materials? Gogu, could it be worse than hell? What are we going to say when we get there? I told you before: law 307 of 2006 stipulates that all restaurants with more than 100 people must have a fire escape. What if there aren't 100? In heaven, Gogu? What do I know?

(Translated by Alina-Dorina Nicolae / University of Bucharest, Faculty of Foreign Languages and Literatures, MTTLC, year II / Corrected by Silvia Petrescu, coordinator of the translations)


Real Fiction is a collective project started in 2013 by Florin Piersic Jr. The concept of Real Fiction continued to exist as a Facebook group, after a volume of stories was published at Humanitas Publishing House. (In September 2023, the group has 11,820 members.) The authors write ultra-short stories, with the texts limited to 500 characters (in Romanian, so the length of the English translation might be a little different) - a flash-fiction exercise on a topic that changes every few days. The group's coordinators are Florin Piersic Jr., Gabriel Molnar, Răzvan Penescu, Luchian Abel, and Vlad Mușat. (Drawing by Adrian T. Roman)

Versiunea în română a acestui text se poate citi aici, în rubrica Ficțiuni Reale.