Cabbage Rolls

Carmen Tot
Being a chef was like having sex with another woman every single day. Desire carried his mind to dishes that had never been made before and he was ardently dreaming of the finish. He would chop, slice, rub the spices between his fingers, passionately touch, feel, smell, and then he would lay everything on the plate and took the dish to the table himself, waiting there, standing, for the first reaction. Oh, today's customer moaned slightly, licking her lips, this taste melts in my mouth. He involuntarily lowered his hand over his apron and ejaculated for the tenth time that day.

Laura Stanciu
Babe, there's traffic in the city and I'm starving. I'm running, but the car is still full. Two of them were not home. I didn't leave their parcels at the door, because they'll be making a complaint again. I'm not going back to them. We'll deliver them after the holidays. I don't have time to get a sandwich. I have deliveries to make until tonight. Nelu stopped the car, turned his tail lights on and went into Incity Residence. Fifth floor, four boxes. These weigh a ton, bro, I need to make two trips. Ms. Vasile was waiting for him on the doorstep. I put some cabbage rolls, a bun, a slice of sweet bread and a non-alcoholic beer in here for you.

Paul Dârvariu
Is this what you call music? Rap, trap, crap, damn it. The real singers were those in my day. Maestro Gică[1]: let's pour another glaaass, so it makes us laaaugh. Or Fărâmiță[2]: ring, ring of gooold. There was one I liked the most, Luigi Popescu. Listen: cabbage rolls, cabbage rolls, my savoury cabbage rooolls. Yo, grandpa, are you mocking us? I searcid it on iutub. Firstly, his name was Luigi Ionescu[3]. Secondly, it was about tulips, not about cabbage rolls. I don't care about that iutub of yours. Since when are tulips being eaten?
(Translated by Claudia Cioplea / University of Bucharest, Faculty of Foreign Languages and Literatures, MTTLC, year II / Corrected by Silvia Petrescu, coordinator of the translations)


Real Fiction is a collective project started in 2013 by Florin Piersic Jr. The concept of Real Fiction continued to exist as a Facebook group, after a volume of stories was published at Humanitas Publishing House. (In January 2024, the group has 12,500 members.) The authors write ultra-short stories, with the texts limited to 500 characters (in Romanian, so the length of the English translation might be a little different) - a flash-fiction exercise on a topic that changes every few days. The group's coordinators are Florin Piersic Jr., Gabriel Molnar, Răzvan Penescu, Luchian Abel, and Vlad Mușat. (Drawing by Adrian T. Roman)

Versiunea în română a acestui text se poate citi aici, în rubrica Ficțiuni Reale.