Cabbage Rolls

Paul Dârvariu
Uncle Grigore, is cabbage rolls Romanian? Yes, Mișu, it's a kind of Dacian dish, handed down from the old Sarmatian. Want proof? They were stuffed with foal meat, mixed with badger fat, and wrapped in cabbage leaves. Not to mention that them free Dacians used goat cheese. Chee-se, Mișu. Get it? I get it, Uncle Grigore, but, when I was in Greece, they served us cabbage rolls which looked like ours. They stole the recipe, Mișu. They should be sued, but who's gonna do it? This government that's useless as tits on a bull?

Caterina Tudorache
The four old ladies were dozing off during the Christmas Eve service. Oh, dear, I've stuffed myself again. I'm full. Fruit? asked the deaf one. With sarmale, dear, not fruits. Doughnut? It ain't good, they say. The tart fixed her new wig. You eat soup. I had cabbage rolls today. The old lady covered her mouth. Filet? No one eats cabbage rolls anymore. The priest looked at them and sighed. Brothers and sisters, I wish you a Merry Christmas, and I invite you to a plate of cabbage rolls, as tradition goes. The blind one sighed loudly. What is the world coming to. No one gives cabbage rolls anymore. Come on, they give us boar.

Carmen-Ecaterina Ciobâcă
Steam poured into his nostrils. His stomach turned upside down, and his groin doubled over. He was back in the hut. He was shaking like a stray animal. The sky had become a bell over the ice tundra, and the stars were laughing at him. His donkey jacket was as tight as a suit of armour. The leaves were rancid, and the stalks tasted of rot. The sour juice seeped through his fingers. His mouth was full of sour water. He pushed the bowl away. Bade[1] Dumitru, I came for Anuța. She's dear to my heart. I'd like her to be mine. As for food, just a piece of bread.
(Translated by Alin Sescu / University of Bucharest, Faculty of Foreign Languages and Literatures, MTTLC, year II / Corrected by Silvia Petrescu, coordinator of the translations)


Real Fiction is a collective project started in 2013 by Florin Piersic Jr. The concept of Real Fiction continued to exist as a Facebook group, after a volume of stories was published at Humanitas Publishing House. (In January 2024, the group has 12,500 members.) The authors write ultra-short stories, with the texts limited to 500 characters (in Romanian, so the length of the English translation might be a little different) - a flash-fiction exercise on a topic that changes every few days. The group's coordinators are Florin Piersic Jr., Gabriel Molnar, Răzvan Penescu, Luchian Abel, and Vlad Mușat. (Drawing by Adrian T. Roman)

Versiunea în română a acestui text se poate citi aici, în rubrica Ficțiuni Reale.