He was waiting for the big news. He kept brandy in his bag to offer to those who had laughed at him. For the third time now, he would be getting everyone wasted, and especially that one guy who'd said that a smart man first had a daughter, an even smarter man had yet another daughter the second time around, and a brilliant man stopped there. They'd see. His boy would be handsome and smart. He'd take after him. He heard his own name. What do I have, ma'am? Two girls, the nurse said. I know, they're at home. But now? Two girls, don't you get it? Twins. Congratulations.
Roxana Catana Tarhon
It's the 5.01; I took leave to go to the beach side starting from 30.07. This makes it 26 + 28 + 31 + 30 + 31 + 30 + 30 -206 days to drop from 120 to 70 kilos, so I can fit into the bathing suit I bought myself last Christmas. So, 50 kilos in 200 days would be about 250 grams per day. 250? Piece of cake: I won't be having large shawarmas in the morning anymore, I'll get small ones. Wait a moment, the calendar says it's a leap year; so add another day to my plan. Wonderful, beyond perfection. She smiled and reached with greedy hands for a chocolate donut.
Alexandrina Deaș
Enough. Starting tomorrow I'm eating healthier, throwing away the cigarettes, getting a gym membership, sleeping 8 hours a night, learning to communicate assertively with my mother-in-law, and I'll no longer cheat on my wife. Sir, sir, can you hear me? He jumped as if startled out of sleep. Generous bosom, wasp-waisted. I was saying your blood test results have arrived. Everything is within normal range. You aren't suffering from anything serious. Here's the prescription. He got up, thanked her, and before leaving the practice he asked: when did you say you got off work?
(Translated by Ioana Ștefan / University of Bucharest, Faculty of Foreign Languages and Literatures, MTTLC, year II / Corrected by Silvia Petrescu, coordinator of the translations)
Versiunea în română a acestui text se poate citi aici, în rubrica Ficțiuni Reale.