New Times

Vlad Mușat
Madame psychologist, yes, I'm highly respected in the neighbourhood and I do a lot of dirty work. The police? They won't bother me because I have pictures of high-ranking officers snorting cocaine off the backsides of luxury ladies. Honestly, I could spend years in jail, spit in the cops' faces, get into fights with my enemies, but only when I see her do I feel like I'm dying, like suffocating. Look, I have her name tattooed on my triceps. Fatty told me to take her by force, that's why I got him in the hospital. What a jerk. Help me, I'm desperate. I'm in love with Helga.

Ramona Ungureanu
I'm still confused, may God strike me if I understand anything. I saw his right arm lift and prop against the corner of the door, cabbage rolls with porridge and two hearts with an arrow tattooed on it. What's up, Gioni, I ask softly, trying not to start a brawl, how you doin'. The thing is you've violated community standards, now sit tight in here for an hour, the rakia is waitin' on the table. So, I raised my right arm tattooed with rakia 4eva, force equals speed multiplied by acceleration. I drank my shot according to all the standards, elegantly lifting my little finger, as well.

Gheorghiță Mircea
Once he became homeless, Angel felt fear and hunger for the first time, but soon he realized he wasn't alone. He got a job in pest control. At home, he read. Having a contract with the National Library, he entered the restricted section, from where he stole books. Captivated by the fever of knowledge, Angel replaced the poison in the pump with water, just to prolong his passion. The blue-eyed librarian thought he looked suspicious, but Angel easily bought her silence with what he had learned from sister Kama Sutra. When the rats invaded the director's office, he was finally fired.


(Translated by Marian-Cătălin Niculăescu / University of Bucharest, Faculty of Foreign Languages and Literatures, MTTLC, year I / Corrected by Silvia Petrescu, coordinator of the translations)


Real Fiction is a collective project started in 2013 by Florin Piersic Jr. The concept of Real Fiction continued to exist as a Facebook group, after a volume of stories was published at Humanitas Publishing House. (In February 2024, the group has 12,700 members.) The authors write ultra-short stories, with the texts limited to 500 characters (in Romanian, so the length of the English translation might be a little different) - a flash-fiction exercise on a topic that changes every few days. The group's coordinators are Florin Piersic Jr., Gabriel Molnar, Răzvan Penescu, Luchian Abel, and Vlad Mușat. (Drawing by Adrian T. Roman)

Versiunea în română a acestui text se poate citi aici, în rubrica Ficțiuni Reale.