You're a failure, the head sorcerer told me during the last class. My ego somersaulted. I need no school, my talents come from above, and I have all the libraries of this world in my mind. Fine, we'll see about that in the exam. So, just to ruffle his feathers, I showed up for the exam dressed as a witch, which was forbidden for undergraduate students. He was gobsmacked. But since he had stunning self-control, he remained composed. I didn't. The codex which contained the exam papers caught fire, the odd-numbered pages only, and he began to levitate. When I got bored, I hung him from the board.
Ionuț Morariu
Evil begets evil. That's how hell is born. Just like the little drops of water make a mighty stream. Every mouse that pisses in the sea knows this. In a nutshell, trouble never comes alone. Even if you understand just this much,everybody calls you wise. Take heed, my boy. Listen to your mother all the time and trust no mischievous woman whatsoever. White mice give birth to no black offspring. And once a circle, always a circle. Beware of a vixen's sweet charms since they might be more bitter than the death itself. That's all for this session.
Nicolae Popescu
Two writers chat during a launch session. Boss, I've signed so many books that my hand hurts. Tough job, giving autograpes. Listen, did you write the book? Yea, I said everything, they recordudh it and bringed out da book. I gave da feerst page the once-oover. Those pals at the publishing hose changed some verbs in "I goed to bed" and "I gived a recital". Weel, I saw that too. And when I was signing, a pal asked me for a deedication. Well I don't deedicate books, I deedicate songs. I asked da pal to bring da book to the weedding. Zis place's nice, lotz of people, it was a pleeasure writing zet. Boss, aren't we going to buy ze publishing hose?
(Translated by Bogdan Macarie / University of Bucharest, Faculty of Foreign Languages and Literatures, MTTLC, year I / Corrected by Silvia Petrescu, coordinator of the translations)
Versiunea în română a acestui text se poate citi aici, în rubrica Ficțiuni Reale.