I Donate My Body to Science

Aurelian Țolescu
Who would use it? The packaging's fine but underneath it, there's rot. The heartbeat is wrong, the hernia bothers me, and what can I say about the liver. It fights daily with the pancreas, over the dose of alcohol and then they give something to work to the petrified kidneys. The arthritis doesn't allow me to be too frisky, and the lungs are full of tobacco. What can I say about the brain, it still works enough to think of a text for Fiction. It's not worth donating. The soul is the only one which carries inside the memories and joys of life from the time I was still alive.

Nicolae Popescu
December. The door opened, Vasile showed up in the doorstep with a long knife. Ghiță had prepared his speech: Think it over, Vasile. Those Brits analyzed me, they saw I was full of bad cholesterol. What can you expect from a pig? Because I care about your hypertension, I say that you should kill Rică the turkey, it has a good cholesterol. Ghiță took a step sideways. Vasile saw Rică's beads behind, white with fear. The turkey begged him with his eyes. Vasile swore, threw the knife, went fast like a bullet in the hothouse and took a bite from a green onion.

Anca Socaciu-Man
Today I had a date with the Robolover. I shaved, I applied cat eye-liner, emotions flowed through me like tallow wax. Mini-skirt, red lipstick, heels, I went out on a rain that made me soaking wet. He welcomed me visibly excited. Have a seat, Anca, what can I get you, Anca, what a lovely name, Anca, what a beautiful body, Anca and he continues like that until he reaches 100. That's enough, it's too much for me. I came to offer you my body, to introduce you in the art of the orgasmic sex, but I see that you're dripping like a coin in heat. You fell in love. Donate yourself to the cauldron, the plum brandy thanks you.

(Translated by Irina Vild / University of Bucharest, Faculty of Foreign Languages and Literatures, MTTLC, year I / Corrected by Silvia Petrescu, coordinator of the translations)


Real Fiction is a collective project started in 2013 by Florin Piersic Jr. The concept of Real Fiction continued to exist as a Facebook group, after a volume of stories was published at Humanitas Publishing House. (In June 2024, the group has 13,100 members.) The authors write ultra-short stories, with the texts limited to 500 characters (in Romanian, so the length of the English translation might be a little different) - a flash-fiction exercise on a topic that changes every few days. The group's coordinators are Florin Piersic Jr., Gabriel Molnar, Răzvan Penescu, Luchian Abel, and Vlad Mușat. (Drawing by Adrian T. Roman)

Versiunea în română a acestui text se poate citi aici, în rubrica Ficțiuni Reale.