Monica Aldea
The sun was rising. Under the tree, Prâslea[1] laid down. As they say, his intelligence doesn't have anything to do with the length. Further away, at the river, two young ladies we're waving their breasts into the water. Oh my, nice apples. Just the right variety, almost ripe, good enough to harvest, not gold as the emperor's. Let me go closer, there is no harm in this. Even though, I see that I could try a little bit. Look, I jump into the water, I float on my back and whoever comes first shall be the first, and the other one the second. This is how the tale of Nic Pop Reteganul[2] began, bard of the people.
[1] Prâslea is a hero in Romanian mythology who appears in several fairy tales.
[2] Ion Pop Reteganul was a pedagogue, prose writer, publicist and folklorist, representative of his era, appreciated by Ion Mușlea as "the greatest folklorist of Transylvania.
David Brescan
After it gets crowded, you scream Alah Akbar and you press this red button right here. In a twinkling of the eye you will be in Paradise, together with the Prophet and 72 virgin girls. Hassan drew his turban on one side, scratched his head and put it back in place. He heard similar stories before, but no one has come back from Paradise yet to tell how things are. Ali arkadaș, only Alah who sees them all knows that every morning I get up exhausted from the bed of my two wives, and they are still unsatisfied. I don't need another 70.
Marian Bircea
I drink at the bar to sink my sorrow, I pour my ass off with the fiddler who plays something sad for me, justified maybe. How would this world be if there were no women? Does the gospel of lads state that you shouldn't forgive neither the fly nor the Psalter of the old ladies that women's race shouldn't be touched even with a flower, not to mention sticking your feet in? I pray at the good Lord not to punish me too hard because I committed the sin, I have done some things with my wife's sister. With her mother too, but less often. Now all three of them are pregnant and when I got drunk into the house, I saw seven pregnant women. Oh my.
(Translated by Diana Sitaru / University of Bucharest, Faculty of Foreign Languages and Literatures, MTTLC, year I / Corrected by Silvia Petrescu, coordinator of the translations)
Versiunea în română a acestui text se poate citi aici, în rubrica Ficțiuni Reale.