On the Scooter

Carmen-Ecaterina Ciobâcă
Hello. Thank you for having me. Nice Office. Hardwood, leather chair. No worries here, your butt doesn't hurt, does it? What do I want? How do I put it. I would like to ask why. Why did you make him go so fast that night. Where were you rushing. You got where you needed to, but he fell into that ditch, wheels up. You're not talking, asshole? Your ass heard right. I'll choke you with my bare hands. Do you know what it's like to see your child in more than one piece, in the morgue? Kick me out. Your stars are worth piss. Cardboard General that you are.

Oana Brumă
I can't look in the mirror anymore. After 3 pregnancies, the weight is sticking to me without remorse. Rather than picking up running, I'd go on a city-break. Alone. Where else other than Rome. I'll doll myself up, put on lipstick and a pair of heels and that's that. Vespas rush past from everywhere, throwing me all sorts of compliments. Bella this and bella that. All the Italians at my feet. After two days of viaggio, my serotonin has reached its peak levels. So what if I'm lying? That's it with the guilt, I eat without worry and once a year have a little trip to the Eternal City.

Nicolae Popescu
Asterix and Obelix are at the edge of the forest, keeping an eye out. The Romans are nearby, let us be vigilant while the magic potion is ready, whispered Asterix. Dogmatix[1] the dog lifted a leg next to a bush. A Roman soldier runs past, rubbing his eyes with both hands and cursing the Gauls and their mothers. Asterix laughs: Do we catch him? Not now, I'm hungry. Dogmatix pushes something metallic out of the bush. Obelix's eyes go wide, their faces are drawn on the shield. I can't believe it, the Roman is our fan. See, Asterix what it's like to be on the big screen?
(Translated by Adriana-Maria Botea / University of Bucharest, Faculty of Foreign Languages and Literatures, MTTLC, year II / Corrected by Silvia Petrescu, coordinator of the translations)


Real Fiction is a collective project started in 2013 by Florin Piersic Jr. The concept of Real Fiction continued to exist as a Facebook group, after a volume of stories was published at Humanitas Publishing House. (In December 2024, the group has 13,540 members.) The authors write ultra-short stories, with the texts limited to 500 characters (in Romanian, so the length of the English translation might be a little different) - a flash-fiction exercise on a topic that changes every few days. The group's coordinators are Florin Piersic Jr., Gabriel Molnar, Răzvan Penescu, Luchian Abel, Monica Aldea, and Vlad Mușat. (Drawing by Adrian T. Roman)

Versiunea în română a acestui text se poate citi aici, în rubrica Ficțiuni Reale.