Geta and Veta were walking through the deserted streets of the city, on the first day of the year, when they stopped in front of a gate behind which an Instagrammable magnolia had already sprouted. Eek! That scared me, I thought it was a snake, exclaimed Geta while she jumped up and pulled Veta by the sleeve: look over there. Veta looked through the fence and giggled: it looks like a penis. Geta replied in shock: it has scales, can't you see? A penis with scales, said Veta. Geta went wide-eyed. But it also has eyes, she managed to choke out. A penis with eyes, Veta repeated, now more sure of herself
Ina Moldoveanu
What's the queue for? I remember I was in bed with my lover when my husband and my lover's wife showed up. So it was you, you jerk? They started a catfight and cussed each other out until the superior was called to intervene. I'm sorry, you'll go to the other gate. But St. Peter, I've never sinned, I've been to church, I've sung litanies. You had a heart attack. You hit him over the head with a bottle of holy water, then you screamed that he spoiled your water from Fatima. I'll be keeping you in purgatory for a while, hell is expanding, she's your roommate. Heaven is just an illusion, and saints arrive by mistake.
Adina Colțea
A new priest had come to the village, a young Anglican on vacation. By Sunday he had erected an archway in the churchyard adorned with wild flowers and oak leaves, and anyone passing under it had to name a good deed done that day. Testimonies of those who have passed several times attest they feel blessed. They have erected such arches all over the village, one even at the pub. Heaven begins here, smiled the young priest as he left, and the airplane first passed under a huge archway, then took off.
(Translated by Oana-Elena Dragnea / University of Bucharest, Faculty of Foreign Languages and Literatures, MTTLC, year I / Corrected by Silvia Petrescu, coordinator of the translations)
Versiunea în română a acestui text se poate citi aici, în rubrica Ficțiuni Reale.