The Neighbor's Goat

Florin Leșan
Oh. Ja. Gut. Sehr gut. Mmm. Schneller, bite. I was sweating a lot. Can you go on, she asked. She suddenly pushed me. Hey, crazy. Don't give up, finish it. What kind of man are you? I braced myself well and then started pushing and pulling like crazy. Ja, ja. Gut. Mmm. Sehr gut. Watch out, you're going to tip me over. Hold on tight. A little more. She stopped. She was all sweaty. I could barely breathe. Since when did you start speaking German? It just came to me. Whose piece of firewood is that? The neighbor's. You should buy a chainsaw; you won't catch me cutting wood with a double saw anymore.
 
 Ligia Dumitrescu
You ask me why I fought with the neighbor. The story is as simple as it is ridiculous. I got myself a chainsaw to get rid of the handsaw. I admit, when I got it, I was like a kid with a new toy. I had a chainsaw, but I didn't have a sawhorse, so I borrowed my neighbor's. By mistake, I cut his sawhorse. I told him I'd buy him a new one, but he refused. He said it has sentimental value. A sawhorse, sir. Six pieces of wood with sentimental value. When he cursed me, I knocked out one of his teeth. He blackened one of my eyes. That was it.
 
 Gyorfi Deak-Gyorgy
We are in a small town that is a railway junction. On one branch, you go to Baia Mare and Sătmar, on another to Zălau, Șimleu, Tășnad, Carei, Oradea. Upstream, there are four Someș rivers with even more cities. Before Christmas, carolers from everywhere come down with goats that, tac-tac-tac, jump on a wooden clapper made from colorful strips. In the past, shepherds beat drums; now they come with a stereo system on wheels. They caught me on the thirteenth salary, so I took them out for a drink. You, girl, one billy goat for all the goats of the neighbors around here.

 
(Translated by Eduard Mihai Uretu / University of Bucharest, Faculty of Foreign Languages and Literatures, MTTLC, year II / Corrected by prof. dr. Nadina Vișan / Edited by Silvia Petrescu, coordinator of the translations)