Mister Sandu, I want to win Gioconda back, she left me a month ago. She ran away with an astrologer. With who? With Titi. Do you know why he took her from you? No. Because their birthdays add up to 7. At what time did you two have sex? Excuse me? Answer, it's important. Mostly in the morning. At what time? At 7 a.m. before going to work. That's it, big mistake. You should have done it between 06:25 and 06:58. But it's not too late. You must masturbate every day, except for Monday, during this time interval. She'll definitely return.
(Translated by Bianca-Maria Ciucaşu / University of Bucharest, Faculty of Foreign Languages and Literatures, MTTLC, year I / Corrected by Silvia Petrescu, coordinator of the translations)
Real Fiction is a collective project started in 2013 by Florin Piersic Jr. The concept of Real Fiction continued to exist as a Facebook group, after a volume of stories was published at Humanitas Publishing House. (In June 2021, the group has 6.650 members.) The authors write ultra-short stories, with the texts limited to 500 characters (in Romanian, so the length of the English translation might be a little different) - a flash-fiction exercise on a topic that changes almost daily. The group's coordinators are Florin Piersic Jr., Gabriel Molnar, Răzvan Penescu, and Luchian Abel. (Drawing by Adrian T. Roman)
Versiunea în română a acestui text se poate citi aici, în rubrica Ficţiuni Reale.