The verdict was brutal: you got lice. Lady, what are you saying? Never in my life have I had this kind of vermin; how can this be? Calm down, it's not like you got worms. Your chakras are super clogged, and that low vibrational energy of a drunk that your man has, it's infected you all the way through. Sit down and let me do a cleanse, let Geta get it out of your system right away. Shut up, don't move, repeat after me and do as I say. Fifteen minutes later, Rela came out of the cabinet, dazed and relieved of all of life's hardships. This bioenergy dealing woman had done it. Goodbye, Sandu, I have no words left for you, only disdain.

(Translated by Bianca Ioana Prisecaru / University of Bucharest, Faculty of Foreign Languages and Literatures, MTTLC, year I / Corrected by Silvia Petrescu, coordinator of the translations)

Real Fiction is a collective project started in 2013 by Florin Piersic Jr. The concept of Real Fiction continued to exist as a Facebook group, after a volume of stories was published at Humanitas Publishing House. (In August 2022, the group has 9,000 members.) The authors write ultra-short stories, with the texts limited to 500 characters (in Romanian, so the length of the English translation might be a little different) - a flash-fiction exercise on a topic that changes every few days. The group's coordinators are Florin Piersic Jr., Gabriel Molnar, Răzvan Penescu, and Luchian Abel. (Drawing by Adrian T. Roman)

Versiunea în română a acestui text se poate citi aici, în rubrica Ficțiuni Reale.

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