If the deceased is obese, we can slice it for you and put it in three suitable coffins. We section it just like a puzzle for blind people. The wine is strained for the deceased's blood, because we chop the deceased and pour it in glasses. For the pretentious ones, if they have some meat on their bones, we turn them into delicious stews made from butt cheek fat. If the deceased has some fiber on it, I can give you a huge discount for some money. We keep the legs and arms, and you get the equivalent in guts. Meaning, I make little sausages for gourmands.

(Translated by Ana Spînu / University of Bucharest, Faculty of Foreign Languages and Literatures, MTTLC, year II / Corrected by Silvia Petrescu, coordinator of the translations)

Real Fiction is a collective project started in 2013 by Florin Piersic Jr. The concept of Real Fiction continued to exist as a Facebook group, after a volume of stories was published at Humanitas Publishing House. (In September 2022, the group has 9,250 members.) The authors write ultra-short stories, with the texts limited to 500 characters (in Romanian, so the length of the English translation might be a little different) - a flash-fiction exercise on a topic that changes every few days. The group's coordinators are Florin Piersic Jr., Gabriel Molnar, Răzvan Penescu, and Luchian Abel. (Drawing by Adrian T. Roman)

Versiunea în română a acestui text se poate citi aici, în rubrica Ficțiuni Reale.

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