The Gospel of Elon Musk

Daniel Onofrei
And then Dollar sacrificed his only son, Elon Musk, to suffer for the people's sins of not knowing how to work with cryptocurrency. And in the Wall Street garden his disciple, Bitcoin, came to him and Elon said to him: Bitcoin, Bitcoin, before the market opens you shall deny me three times. And in the meantime Ethereum went to SEC and OCC to sell him for 30 CFDs for silver. And Elon went down to the bankruptcy hell and ascended back online to the Cloud, praised be His Server.

Alex Caragian
And the Fifth Horseman of the apocalypse was galloping on an electric stallion who didn't eat dirt, but Mars dust. The apostle Musk and his horsepower, Elon, who drank diodes and electrodes in order to become an electric horse, grew up in a poor cell in the scorching South African promised land on the Red Planet. He invested in cars with minimum power consumption and spacecraft with maximum power consumption, with chances to end up in the nothing in between. Especially if the rocket's plug didn't have a long enough extension cord.

Arthur Ianoși
Fed up with adultery and yearly world endings, Ely decided to begin fasting and become the Ultimate Hermit, like he promised JC on his last spiritual trip on ayahuasca, when the one allergic to nails told him he will not be coming back. He took his unworn sandals, put his tablet with the 10 commandments in his LV bag, and, at the evening hallucination, he headed for Mount Athos to look for a host. When he reached the foot of the mountain, he wished May the Q Source be with me and started to write down his epiphanies.

(Translated by Raluca Sălcianu / University of Bucharest, Faculty of Foreign Languages and Literatures, MTTLC, year I / Corrected by Silvia Petrescu, coordinator of the translations)


Real Fiction is a collective project started in 2013 by Florin Piersic Jr. The concept of Real Fiction continued to exist as a Facebook group, after a volume of stories was published at Humanitas Publishing House. (In July 2023, the group has 11,540 members.) The authors write ultra-short stories, with the texts limited to 500 characters (in Romanian, so the length of the English translation might be a little different) - a flash-fiction exercise on a topic that changes every few days. The group's coordinators are Florin Piersic Jr., Gabriel Molnar, Răzvan Penescu, Luchian Abel, and Vlad Mușat. (Drawing by Adrian T. Roman)

Versiunea în română a acestui text se poate citi aici, în rubrica Ficțiuni Reale.