The Gospel of Elon Musk

Vero Anttheia Teodoru
What's satellites, y'all? Some kind of stars, but made by humans. But where's this? In the USA. There's a factory that makes \'em. How's that work? Don't they need manpower? I'd go out of curiosity, old Paul's asparagus was a bust anyway. I wanna understand how is it that if I throw a rock it falls right back according to the laws of physics, so how in God's name is it that they stay right there after you throw them? If I was to see one landed in the backyard and dissected it I think I'd figure it out. Get outta here with your science.

Mihaela Suciu
In the beginning there was 1 and 0 and out of 1 and 0 the wonderful world in which we all live in was made. That world in which we all look perfect without diets and effort, the landscapes and the weather are flawless, and we travel from one end of the (meta)universe to the other as we wish. Then not just a star appeared in the sky, but a string of aligned stars, giving light and unlimited access to knowledge to the chosen ones (according to their financial contribution). Then the poor in spirit inherited this world and made it theirs. Amen.

Mădălina Belcescu
Back in those days the people had gotten from the Sky more than they could handle and were worshiping false gods, content Creators. The Sky still endured, because it was, after all, indifferent to the fate of Noah's descendants, and the flood algorithm couldn't be run a second time. Arks headed for the Sky were being built on crosses overturned in X shapes, like in the days of the old apostles. Blessed are those who know bird language, for only some of them will be able to fly. Heaven will be red and only a few will reach it.

(Translated by Raluca Sălcianu / University of Bucharest, Faculty of Foreign Languages and Literatures, MTTLC, year I / Corrected by Silvia Petrescu, coordinator of the translations)


Real Fiction is a collective project started in 2013 by Florin Piersic Jr. The concept of Real Fiction continued to exist as a Facebook group, after a volume of stories was published at Humanitas Publishing House. (In July 2023, the group has 11,540 members.) The authors write ultra-short stories, with the texts limited to 500 characters (in Romanian, so the length of the English translation might be a little different) - a flash-fiction exercise on a topic that changes every few days. The group's coordinators are Florin Piersic Jr., Gabriel Molnar, Răzvan Penescu, Luchian Abel, and Vlad Mușat. (Drawing by Adrian T. Roman)

Versiunea în română a acestui text se poate citi aici, în rubrica Ficțiuni Reale.