The Gospel of Elon Musk

Mihaela Moisescu
Pops, and what was it like before, during the Elonian period? Tough, kiddo. At first we liked the fact that we as humans were no longer doing anything. We'd sit with our VR goggles on and dream. All the while Musk was watching over us from his ivory tower. Have fun. Live. Elon is keeping watch. Then He befriended AI, a selfish whore, who took over his mind and soul. She subjugated people, forced them into hard labour, reproduced and took over everything. Don't let anyone hear you, Pops, they'll pull the plug.

Andra Toropoc
Love your satellite as yourself, hummed to the tune of Conquest of Paradise the man accompanied by ten little Indians who were carrying his luggage. He was on his way to the castle for the parabolic amateurs' conference. He will gift them with stars and they will follow his word, for I am their Idea, their Money and their Livelihood and no one exists without me. He was admiring himself while taking a piss on the scenery, when some honks reminded him that he's got a lot of cheek to be doing that, but he already had two chubby cheeks poking out of his trousers turned towards the road. And the Carpathian landscape welcomed his bodily affluence.

Andrei Lămureanu
Day 1. I woke up from cryosleep hungry as a wolf, ate a week's ration. It's cool, you can see Earth on every rotation. Day 2. I'm still unpacking, their crap comes with Korean instructions, it will take me forever to put them together. Day 32. I managed to install the antenna, it's taking a while for the base to respond, but I'm picking up a rerun of Suleiman the Magnificent. Day 60. I'm craving minced meat rolls with mustard. Day 80. I gave my guinea pigs biblical names. Day 99. I'm out of canned goods, only tubes of concentrate. Day 120. Today I ate Toma.

(Translated by Raluca Ioana Crucerescu / University of Bucharest, Faculty of Foreign Languages and Literatures, MTTLC, year II / Corrected by Silvia Petrescu, coordinator of the translations)


Real Fiction is a collective project started in 2013 by Florin Piersic Jr. The concept of Real Fiction continued to exist as a Facebook group, after a volume of stories was published at Humanitas Publishing House. (In July 2023, the group has 11,540 members.) The authors write ultra-short stories, with the texts limited to 500 characters (in Romanian, so the length of the English translation might be a little different) - a flash-fiction exercise on a topic that changes every few days. The group's coordinators are Florin Piersic Jr., Gabriel Molnar, Răzvan Penescu, Luchian Abel, and Vlad Mușat. (Drawing by Adrian T. Roman)

Versiunea în română a acestui text se poate citi aici, în rubrica Ficțiuni Reale.