How to Find Your Match

Costi Gălățanu
Luke entered the command room. Darth Vader felt his presence, whipped out his saber and turned on the laser. Whoosh. Only one of us will leave here alive, he said. Chshh, chshh, came the Dark Lord's breathing. So be it. Swoosh, swoosh, swoosh, they crossed sabers. Luke spoke first: I'm getting married, you coming to the wedding? Swoosh, swoosh, swoosh. I wouldn't miss it for anything in the Galaxy, answered Darth. Who's the bride? Swoosh, swoosh. Leia, who else? Silence. Darth Vader turned off the laser. Scshh. Luke, she's your sister.

Carmen-Ecaterina Ciobâcă
The first few weeks were horrendous. Hunger gave her pangs. She regretted having devoted herself only to reading bookes and not stirring in pots more often, as her aunt Ana had venomously urged her. But, too late. At home, they hadn't spared a pot for her, she had nothing to stir in. She bought a wretched pan and some spuds. She fried them on a hot plate, in the room. She added salt, pepper. They tasted bland. Still, she devoured them. I know your type, you come to university to find someone to marry, their prof told them the following day at the course.

Daniela Rusu
No sooner did the store open, than he scampered in. Good mornin'. Finding other half, please. The woman sighed. Fănică, I told you mis'eryer in the wrong place. People come in only for beer and cigarettes here. Go try yer luck with yer lady neighbours, at the hora, at the pond. He put on a pouty face. Carn, Maria, how many times do I \'ave to tell you: I can't hope to find another like ye. Only ye know how to mumble jokes, to remove padlocks. Your fae-like voice chirps to me. Don't you want to tickle me pink? She pressed the panic button. Give up the poetry, Fane. Go. The alarms stopped, as did the hiccupping. But I insist that we love each other.

(Translated by Ioana Ștefan / University of Bucharest, Faculty of Foreign Languages and Literatures, MTTLC, year II / Corrected by Silvia Petrescu, coordinator of the translations)


Real Fiction is a collective project started in 2013 by Florin Piersic Jr. The concept of Real Fiction continued to exist as a Facebook group, after a volume of stories was published at Humanitas Publishing House. (In August 2023, the group has 11,680 members.) The authors write ultra-short stories, with the texts limited to 500 characters (in Romanian, so the length of the English translation might be a little different) - a flash-fiction exercise on a topic that changes every few days. The group's coordinators are Florin Piersic Jr., Gabriel Molnar, Răzvan Penescu, Luchian Abel, and Vlad Mușat. (Drawing by Adrian T. Roman)

Versiunea în română a acestui text se poate citi aici, în rubrica Ficțiuni Reale.