Spring Starts with Tinder

Oana Jindiceanu
What's Tender, my dear boy? One of those silly apps for your phone? You chose her from a pool of girls and brought her home, sweetie? Did you leave her inside the phone, or what? Oh, okay, I got it. Tell grannie, is she a decent girl? Can she cook? Influ-what? Influencere? Oh, it's on that damn phone too, got it. Yes, my dear, bring her here, sure. Shall I cook cabbage rolls for the two of you? She doesn't want any mărțișor[1], don't worry. Cabbage rolls and soup. I'll chop up the rooster. Tell me, my dear, are you sure she doesn't mingle with other boys on Tender as well?
Florentina Ghițescu
I'll start by cleaning up the place. So much has piled up during this winter that I can't put it off any longer. The kids want me to play with them. I've always enjoyed it. We climb trees, I teach them how to break walnut and peanut shells. Mine passed away in a car accident. They drive with high speed in the newly-built residential neighbourhood next to the house. There wasn't a lot of hassle because of this. The kids need a dad. After finishing cleaning, I proceed to go on a date. I forgot his name, Chip or Dale? I refresh my eyes and bushy ponytail and go downstairs.

Fabiola Stoi
In order not to die a virgin, Consuela resorted to the services of a famous agency. She booked a studio photoshoot, put on her pleated dress with macramé collar and made her way to the agency. A middle-aged gentleman, neither too young nor too old, presented albums with gentlemen similar to him. Do you have something with bluer eyes perhaps? And they must have a country house, because I read somewhere that happiness was born in the countryside. That's eternity, ma'am. I'll even make eternal remembrance, so he won't have to worry.

(Translated by Oana Ionescu / University of Bucharest, Faculty of Foreign Languages and Literatures, MTTLC, year II / Corrected by Silvia Petrescu, coordinator of the translations)


Real Fiction is a collective project started in 2013 by Florin Piersic Jr. The concept of Real Fiction continued to exist as a Facebook group, after a volume of stories was published at Humanitas Publishing House. (In April 2024, the group has 12,860 members.) The authors write ultra-short stories, with the texts limited to 500 characters (in Romanian, so the length of the English translation might be a little different) - a flash-fiction exercise on a topic that changes every few days. The group's coordinators are Florin Piersic Jr., Gabriel Molnar, Răzvan Penescu, Luchian Abel, and Vlad Mușat. (Drawing by Adrian T. Roman)

Versiunea în română a acestui text se poate citi aici, în rubrica Ficțiuni Reale.