Be careful, you idiot, so my husband won't see! If it leaves a mark, you're screwed. You like biting my neck so much as if you're a bloody vampire! Next time I'll muzzle you, dammit! If it will ever be a next time? There will be a next time, my Don Juan, cause you're really good at mischiefs. The only thing is, if my man back home catches us, I don't think your fangs will be enough for us to get away with it. You know he is snappier than Dracula. Why did I even marry him? I thought he has the biggest fangs. That was until I met you, silly. Meow.
Vlad Mușat
Ecaterina is the only one I didn't turn even though she is begging me to do it. Today I decided to surprise her and visit her in the middle of the day. I will offer her immortality, while I will be rid of the curse...just like a donor without any will to live that doesn't care if he will survive or not. I even wrote her a letter where all my story, 200 hundred years of agony, along with my will can be found. I am leaving her everything, including the castle and the key to the underground church because she has the right to change her mind.
Lucian Pătru
He was old and pitiable. He was a convinced vegetarian and ever since his teeth fell out he was struggling with a dental prosthesis. But even so, he had color in his cheeks and was very lively. He onlyate soups. Rarely, he treated himself to some grasshopper scruff. Years passed Dracula by like antelopes passing over the people of Zambezi. Still, he couldn't get rid of his fear. Whenever he cut his finger while making a salad, let's say, his face would go pale and he would faint at the sight of blood. He wouldn't come to his senses until you were mending him with salts. Today is Sunday and everyone is waiting for him at the church to recite the Creed.
(Translated by Ioana Bobeanu / University of Bucharest, Faculty of Foreign Languages and Literatures, MTTLC, year I / Corrected by Silvia Petrescu, coordinator of the translations)
Versiunea în română a acestui text se poate citi aici, în rubrica Ficțiuni Reale.