Baloney

Florentina Enache
These two? They won't last together forever; I give them at most two years. The problem is that during that time, they'll probably end up having some kids just as ugly and stupid like them. And honestly, the world is already full. Well, how so? They've shown all the signs of a mix between stinginess and deceit, haven't you notice? First, they only invited people out of obligation, then, at the table, the plum brandy was watered down, the wine mixed with syrup, the cabbage rolls had more rice than meat, the sweet bread with barely any eggs in it and some Turkish delights, and as an appetizer, instead of deli meats, they served baloney. A mess of a wedding.
 
 Tavi Tone
I have a wild, irrational craving for shrimp with peas. I wonder if this dish even exists? It must exist, surely, modern humans have tried every possible combination of meat and vegetables. Let me ask the artificial intelligence. Dear little robot, how do you cook shrimp with peas, two onions and 300 grams of baloney? That's what I have in my fridge and there is still one more week till payday. What do you think the little bastard answers me? Shrimp are expensive and unsustainable; next time I should buy more baloney. Apparently, peas are okay.
 
 Paul Dîrvariu
Lately, I've been dreaming about it every night. Its pink roundness, in my sheets. Its intoxicating aroma. The unparalleled taste. I bite into it, at first playfully, then for real. This triggers an orgasmic explosion. I asked my therapist if it's normal to have such dreams. He reassured me: nothing serious, it's just a subconscious dive into childhood pleasures. Why am I telling you all this, my love? Because I'm crazy about baloney, but I love you a thousand times more.

(Translated by Teodora Anghelachi / University of Bucharest, Faculty of Foreign Languages and Literatures, MTTLC, year I / Corrected by Silvia Petrescu, coordinator of the translations)